By the way...

By the way, this is a new blogger template, which as of this moment, is incomplete. I've not yet properly set all of the built-in buttons/links/etc... Just so ya'know :-)

Depression...

I have studiously tried to avoid ever using the word 'madness' to describe my condition. Now and again, the word slips out, but I hate it. 'Madness' is too glamorous a term to convey what happens to most people who are losing their minds. That word is too exciting, too literary, too interesting in its connotations, to convey the boredom, the slowness, the dreariness, the dampness of depression.
'Elizabeth Wurtzel

At 25/26, having not finished high-school, i somehow gained the position of the full-time web designer and internet applications programmer for a very large corporation. I had a wife, children, a beautiful family. I moonlighted privately as a web consultant and part-time white-hat hacker for both businesses and a couple government entities. Things were looking WAY up. Now, it's so far gone, it's truly much closer to being just a dream than having ever been a reality. Right now, just as with the past few years, I'm sick... VERY sick, stuck depending upon my own parents for shelter and care. The family I helped to create and was so very proud of, has been destroyed. If I could make myself better magically, i SO would. I wish everything was better... so much better. But I'd be lying if I said I was sure it really will, ever again. And knowing this.. just doesn't help. (Please forgive my rant... just needed to vent i suppose.) :-)